The Language of Love

The past 2 months have been incredible. At 36, I find myself a mom again. This time has been completely different than when I was just a young 20 years old. I'm an entirely different person. The experiences and spiritual journey have transformed me. I continue to grow daily with the help of my children.

There is a common saying: children don't come with manuals. While that's true, you can find a ton of books on the subject of parenting. Most books emphasize the importance of speaking to your baby. Language is crucial, they say. Speak to your baby and engage him/her. And while this is true and especially important, the moments of silence between my daughter and I have been transcendental for me.

In the moments of quiet and stillness shared with my daughter in my arms, she will look up at me and we will stare at each other for minutes at a time. She inspects all the features of my face and smiles this sweet, calm smile that brings life full circle.

The language of love goes beyond words. In these moments, my heart skips a beat and I feel so much love for her and for the moment, that tears come to my eyes. We are telling each other we love each other without having to say the words.

Today, take a moment to be still and find the love that exists all around you. Find the place where words are not necessary and live there.

My Hypnobirthing Experience

On June 9, 20105, at about 11am, I my water broke. It wasn’t a gushing of water you usually hear about or see in the movies, but it was enough for me to know something was definitely happening. I had just spoken to Joe about how he was going to be doing something after work and wouldn’t be home until later. I called him and told him it was “go time”. I could immediately hear the excitement and dread in his voice. We couldn’t believe it was finally time. We spent so many days on the couch speaking to Jagger and counting the minutes until she was ready to join us in this world. 

Joe was home in no time. I still felt no surges and called Dr. Skeete’s office to see how to proceed. I also texted my hypnobirthing coach, Helen to let her know what was going on. Because of the fact that I had tested positive for Strep B, they advised me to go to the hospital immediately. Already my hypnobirthing plan was not going according to what I had hoped. I really wanted to stay home as long as possible because I knew that the more medical intervention there was, the more of a challenge it would be to stay in my “hypno zone”.

Against the wishes of my doctor I stayed home a few hours longer before heading to the hospital. Once I arrived the admitting nurse questioned whether my water really broke. I wasn’t testing positive for amniotic fluid. I walked for a couple of hours and after some more liquid proved what I kept insisting, my doctor decided to admit me. The catch: I would need to be induced by 6am the next morning if surges didn’t start on their own. The combination of the Strep B and the chances of infection for baby due to water breaking made it impossible to avoid. I was nervous about this. I knew the Pitocin was going to intensify the surges. All night, I tossed and turned with nurses coming in every couple of hours to check on baby and me. 6am came along and my Pitocin began.

My husband was an amazing coach. Nothing better than having your best friend at your side. He went to every single hypnobirthing session and stayed by my side. He kept time of the surges to allow me not to focus on them and reminded me to breathe and soften my shoulders. For most of the day I would fall into these hypnotic states; there were even moments where I would find myself in a childhood memory having a conversation or smiling as the next surge pulled me out of it. The surges started intensifying and getting closer together. Things were progressing well but I was starting to lose it. I was exhausted and in pain. My doctor suggested I take a shower for some pain relief. Wow! What an amazing feeling! My husband jumped in with me and it was the best feeling in the world. I shampooed my hair and had full conversations with Joe. My doctor also hoped that maybe my own body would take over once I was off the Pitocin (I couldn’t shower with the IV so the medicine had to stop). Unfortunately, my surges started getting further and further apart. So back on the Pitocin I went.

By the time I was 6cm my surges were getting so intense I started considering pain relief. I turned to my husband, and for the first time since going into labor, cried to him about how I felt like a complete failure for not being able to go through with my original intention of natural labor. He was comforting and completely supportive of my decision. After 16 hours of labor, I opted for an epidural and a couple of hours later Jagger Milena Gregory was born.

After 2 previous cesarean births, the fact that I was able to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) was incredible. I am so grateful for that experience. To be able to breathe my baby down, watch her enter this world and have her placed on my chest was the most incredible thing in the world.

Nothing went according to plan, but in the end everything turned out exactly as it was meant to. Jagger is a sweet and peaceful baby. And I know that all the preparation to have a Hypnobirth helped her experience calmness in the womb. I truly believe hypnobirthing techniques helped me throughout my pregnancy, during labor and now as I care for my baby girl.

My Blessing Way - April 25, 2015

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been present on my blog for a bit. You can imagine it's been busy getting ready for baby. This past weekend was my Blessing Way and it was such a wonderful experience. What a blessing to have all the women that I love and admire surrounding Baby Jagger and I in a celebration of her upcoming birth. Hope you enjoy the slideshow of memories of that beautiful day. I know that my labor is going to be as calm and beautiful as can be with this group praying and cheering me on!

It's OK To Be Clueless

I first came across Martha Beck through her amazing book called "Expecting Adam", a New York Times Bestseller real life chronicle of how her life was transformed through the pregnancy and birth of her son with Down Syndrome. It completely rocked my world! Click here to buy it on Amazon. I highly recommend it.

Well, it so happens that Martha Beck had so much more up her sleeve. She is a well-known author and lover of nature, a regular on the Oprah Winfrey show and dedicates her life to providing tools to help empower people to find their passions in life.

Today's Daily Inspiration; a daily email I receive from Martha's site talks about self-consciousness and states:

In the beam of imaginary spotlights, many of us suffer untold shame and create smaller, weaker, less zestful lives than we deserve. Terrified (highlighted by me...we'll come back to this word :)) that the neighbors might gossip, the critics might sneer, the love letter might fall into the hands of evil bloggers, we never even allow our minds to explore what our hearts may be calling us to do. These efforts to avoid embarrassment often keep us from imagining, let alone fulfilling, the measure of our destiny.

Since I began staying home and my job with my husband's small business was over, I was excited to embark on a new journey. A journey that has always been in my heart. The thing is, it's got so many different paths I wonder which path I should take? I have a passion for writing and for creating things...all kinds of things from graphic design to handmade items like refinished furniture, upcycled decor and custom art prints and invitations. From a business standpoint, I feel like I'm a mess! I see all these talented bloggers and artists that have honed in on one particular passion and it seems that they have found their One True Calling! But is it possible to have a few? Is it possible to excel and not only find joy in several passions, but be able to create a lucrative business from it?

I find that my fear of not having it perfectly figured out and feeling self-conscious are keeping me immobilized. FEAR. That is the core of all the other feelings I'm recognizing within me. Fear of failure. Fear of disappointing my husband when I can't bring in the little extra income that could help our growing family. Fear of not knowing what kind of business I want to create yet.

Then I received another similar message in a book I borrowed from the library called: Handmade To Sell by Kelly Rand. Second paragraph in Chapter 2 jumps out of the page for me by basically smacking me in the face and saying, Gwendy: don't stop yourself from starting just because you don't have it all figured out at the moment. More than one successful crafter out there has at one time or another admitted, 'I don't know what I'm doing!'

Well, that was a relief! There it was in black and white. Other people feel as clueless as I do. And that's ok. Why should I know exactly where I'm going before I take that first step? That's where faith comes in. I've got to move in ANY direction if I want to make something meaningful happen.

There is one poem that has played a huge role in my life and it's meaning once again comes back even years after I was required to memorize it in 7th grade. I can't recall her name but I remember that no one liked her because she was strict and serious and would yell often through a large gap between her front teeth. But there was something about her that I liked. I think it was the way she looked at me like I had something special. I didn't understand it, but I liked it. One day she walked over to me and announced that I would be memorizing a poem by Robert Frost called The Road Not Taken. I would be reciting it at the next school award presentation...in 2 weeks. It wasn't a question, it was a declaration. And oh how I thank her to this day. What a powerful poem to have in your heart for most of your life. Eloquently written and simple enough for anyone to relate to, it talks about that moment we all find ourselves in where we have to decide which path to take and how choosing the one less traveled by takes immense courage.

Robert Frost (1874–1963).  Mountain Interval.  1920.

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.	20

Which leads me to today's blog post title and affirmation: It's OK to be clueless. It's OK to be afraid to fail. But we cannot allow that to stop us from action. I'm happily accepting failure today. I'm accepting that I might get some raised eyebrows from friends and strangers alike at my blog or items that I eventually decide to sell. But if I can inspire someone else out there through this blog to put aside their fear along with me...well maybe that's the core of all of my passions. Helping others. Inspiring others. Making a change and shifting perspectives that will keep us moving forward. Toward action and away from fear.

How to ROCK Coral

I had refinished furniture in years so I was a little nervous about taking this on, but I'm so happy I did! I'm really excited about how it came out for the nursery. I knew I wanted to something vintage-looking and shabby cheek for the room and since I'm keep most of the colors in the room to gray and white I thought a pop of color was in order. When I came across the 2015 Sherwin Williams Color of the Year I knew it was exactly what I was looking for. Read more about Coral Reef here.

I purchased a used rocker for about $40 and got to work. Below are some progress pictures. It took some time between processes to let each stain and paint job dry. It definitely takes some patience! Enjoy and feel free to leave comments below. 

Original State - Boring!

First white stain. I did about 2 coats with an extra coat on the back part of the chair.

Almost done! Added one more white coat and then sanded parts to give it the "worn" look.

Natural Inspiration

It seems my mind is filled with a constant craving to create and express myself through different mediums. I find myself making notes on my phone, sketching things and finding inspiration through all the creativity online. But to me, connecting with nature and finding the beauty in all of God's creations is what really inspires me. I think it requires us to slow down and just open our senses to the stillness you can only find away from technology and society and amidst the sounds of the chirping birds and the scent of the air surrounding dense trees. 

 

There is a wonderful park by my house. At 25 weeks, the roundness and weight of my belly is starting to make workout sessions a little more challenging lately! So, I've taken up walking as my main source of exercise. Today, I did my usual walk around the paved trail but the "road less traveled" beckoned me! I veered off the path and found myself walking through some hidden walkways (or at least my imagination made me believe that) that took me further and further away from the sounds of the passing cars. I slowed down and took deep breaths; the air seemed different. It was cleaner and coming straight from the large trees enveloping me. I found a few beautiful tree stumps and carefully stepped on each one. I felt like a 7 year old on my own little adventure. 

The patterns on the stumps and leaves, even the dried pine tree needles on the floor looked amazing. There was so much I could pull from as inspiration! In fact...I think I want to take a little of this nature back home! For some reason, I can't stop thinking about one particular tree stump that would make a perfect addition to the nursery. I think it would be a beautiful reminder of my walks during this pregnancy journey and a great place to place a few cozy blankets and maybe my feet as my we rock the little one to sleep.

My First DIY Project For The Nursery: Planter For Storage!

I've been pinning a lot of refinished furniture. I'm just fascinated by all the beautiful finishes and transformations you can do to stuff otherwise deemed ugly or useless. So, I figured I would start small and try my hand at double-staining something for the nursery. I went to Goodwill and found a WWF (World Wild Life) planter for $1. Perfect investment for a possible art disaster to come.

Goodwill investment $1

I wasn't sure what I could use it for at first, but the fact that it was in raw wood form and I didn't have to sand it was a good canvas for my first attempt and staining wood. I picked up a couple of different stains at Sherwin Williams while I was picking up my gray color for the nursery. I used very little of the stain. Hardly enough to even add the cost to my investment. I have plenty left over for a thousand other projects!

I started with a dark stain called Rustic Gray. I waited for it to dry, sanded it down (especially around the edges to give it that worn look) and then added the second coat in Pickled White. I used a rag to apply both finishes making sure to rub it was I went so the gray would still be the dominant color. Once the white dried, I sanded it again and then went over certain parts with a small brush to add a little more interest and unevenness to it.

I waited a day or so to make sure the paint was dry before adding the final touch. I needed to cover that panda and logo! As cute as the panda is it's not really what I'm trying to go for in the nursery. I visited Hobby Lobby and picked up a gorgeous gray burlap flower and a smaller paper flower from the scrap booking department. Total cost $5.

Here is the finished product! I love the way it came out! I'm thinking I can use it on the dresser to hold lotions or baby bows or other small items.

Hope this inspires you to convert a Goodwill find to something fun for your home!

Welcome to My Blog!

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
― Dalai Lama XIV

Hi everyone. I'd like to introduce myself and give you a little insight into how this blog was born. My name is Gwendy. I live in Plantation, Florida with my husband of almost 2 years and my 2 amazing rescue dogs Machete and Mazzy. We are expecting our first child together in June. I also have an amazing 16 year old son from a previous relationship. I am transitioning from full time work as a partner to my husband's small business to a full time stay at home wife and mother...and I couldn't be any more excited! I've decided that adding some transparency to my daily challenges and family life would be nice to share with others. Perhaps through my stories I can help someone else feel hopeful, inspired and amused. I also feel it will give me purpose; by sharing and retrospection I will be able to further grow on this wonderful journey of life. So, you'll find all kinds of posts here ranging from my prenatal journaling, DIY projects (I love creating new things), photography, poetry, spiritual topics, and all things mommy and family life! Basically, anything that's "home grown". So, kick off your shoes, grab your favorite mug and sip away as you catch a glimpse of a simple, Spanish, home grown spirit life.